I believe in God.
There. I said it.
I don't believe in Allah. I don't believe in Buddha. I don't believe in any of the million and one gods in the world which you can make up and decide to follow. I don't believe He is the same as any of them, and they are not Him.
No, I believe in God. I believe He is real. I believe He exists.
I believe He is real because I have been taught about His existence from my childhood. My parents, church, friends, mentors - They have all told me about Him. Of course, being told about something doesn't make it true. But "how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?" (Rom. 10:14).
I believe in Him because He answers me. Not audibly. Not audibly with His own voice. But He answers me. I'll be praying for an answer and He will guide me to His answer in the Bible. My missions team will need money to continue travelling. A family will come forward with a donation. Driving towards an outdoor club, the sky blackens and rain starts falling. The team bows their heads, prays, and opens their eyes to see the sun shining brightly and the clouds gone. My car is broken down in the middle of Kansas, hours away from home. After asking for His help, the car starts again.
These could all be coincidence. But the chances of even one of these things happening on their own is remote, and after this happening time after time, year after year, the odds are stacked against you. I do not believe they are coincidence. It has been a very long time since I have believed in coincidences.
I believe in Him because I have felt His presence. This is not calculable. This is not measurable. But I have felt His presence in a backyard when a child talks to Him, asks for forgiveness of sin, and asks Him to make the child His own. When my volleyball team won championship, and the whole team was screaming with joy, He was there, because He takes pleasure in a job well done for Him. I have felt Him in the middle of a code at the hospital, when my patient is going down the tube fast and I cry out "God I don't know what to do!".... And he fills my mind, calms my heart, and shows me what needs to be done. When I stood inside my empty apartment and felt darkness and loneliness destroying my heart, when I crumpled to the floor and sobbed out to Him "God is it even worth it? Should I just give up? Can't I just run away?" He circled me in love. He filled me with love. He sent me friends to pour into so I could forget my own worries. He introduced me to completely new people who talked to me in my loneliest hours at night and distracted me from my thoughts. I don't think they'll ever know how grateful I am to them.
So yes, I believe in God. Sure it's not the most compelling argument in the world for His existence. It's short. Not a lot of measurable evidence. But it's there: my belief. And I will continue to believe it.
